I'm supposed to be writing my final essays for English (which are due tomorrow) but I had an urge to write this instead. I should have already done them by now and had every intention to do them yesterday, but I got really really sick and spent most of my day sleeping it off. Then I woke up, took a shower, went to dance rehearsal, left early and came home to get ready for my 18th birthday cookout/pool party. Sadly it rained on and off all day/night. But that didnt' stop us. About fourty or so of my friends came by at some point throughout the night. A lot of people that said they'd be there ended up "forgetting" and not showing up, which sucked. And even a few of the people that were there decided to be really antisocial and sat inside watching TV for a large part of the time they were there. If everyone could have fit in my living room to watch TV or whatever I guess it wouldn't have bothered me as much. But its like, I can't be everywhere at once. So I ended up having to choose which of my friends I wanted to spend my time with. And it didn't come down to who but rather where, seeing as I wanted to stay outside in the pool. There was one guy that I honestly hardly noticed he was there. He spoke to me when he got there, and when he left and spent the rest of the time chilling on the couch. And didn't even bring me a card or anything. That sounds really selfish, but I honestly didn't ask anyone for anything for my birthday. And if he had spoke to me for even a few minutes I wouldn't have cared that he didnt' bring anything. Like one girl spent the entire time with me and she'd forgotten her card for me at home (which is kind of different because she actually made an effort to recognize the fact that it was my birthday). But no, this dude just came in and chilled on my couch like it was his house we were invading for the day or something. That was my only problem. Its my one day out of the year completely for me, at least recognize that if you're going to come to my party.
Well, I'm off to start on part two out of the three essays I have to write before 3 oclock tomorrow! Then its off to rehearsal at 4.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
First Rehearsal
I'm going to go ahead and apologize for what will be another pretty short entry, and probably not very interesting for most of you. But its a big part of my life and will be a huge part of my summer so I may as well start sharing now while its fresh and new. (: I'm a performer and for the past two summers I've done musicals at my local community theatre (Workshop Theatre, check it out!). Two years ago it was The Secret Garden, last summer it was High School Musical, and this summer we are doing the sequel to last year's production. Originally our director wanted to get back the entire original cast in order to do the sequel, but we ended up having some people move away from town, commit to other things, or whatever else. So we have 12 of our original cast members and the other 28 or so are newbies. At first I was a little wary of having new people, and was curious to what those people would be like and how we would mesh together or clique apart into clearly defined groups of newbies and veterans. We had our first read through Saturday, which went really well. And our first real rehearsal was today. It went better than I ever could have imagined for a first rehearsal. And all the new people are incredibly cool and talented. The summer is looking like its going to be really bright. (:
When we got to the theatre, we were waiting for the improv group to finish rehearsing in the Gallery for us to be able to step in and start our rehearsal but it turned out that they had the room booked for longer than we thought they did. So for the first 30 minutes of rehearsal, we were stuck outside. It was hilarious though. Walter, our director, downloaded the piano application on his iPhone to use to find our pitch. It actually worked really well and we got to work through most of our first song by doing that to split ourselves into correct harmony parts. After the first half an hour we got to go inside to finish up the rest of what would turn out to be a really fun and productive rehearsal.
When we got to the theatre, we were waiting for the improv group to finish rehearsing in the Gallery for us to be able to step in and start our rehearsal but it turned out that they had the room booked for longer than we thought they did. So for the first 30 minutes of rehearsal, we were stuck outside. It was hilarious though. Walter, our director, downloaded the piano application on his iPhone to use to find our pitch. It actually worked really well and we got to work through most of our first song by doing that to split ourselves into correct harmony parts. After the first half an hour we got to go inside to finish up the rest of what would turn out to be a really fun and productive rehearsal.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Father's Day
Yes, I realize that today was in fact Mother's Day, but I'm writing a little bit about my dad today. Ironic.
I was adopted before I was born, so I've lived with my (adoptive) family for my entire life. And somehow I've inherited most of my behavioral traits from my dad and very few from my mom. Because of the insane similarities in our personalities we tend to butt heads a lot. We're both sarcastic, terribly headstrong, and have horrible tempers. My temper very few people have seen. My dad is one of the very very few people on this earth that can get under my skin enough to truly make me angry. And I hate that. This evil person that I don't even know, or know how to control, just comes from no where. Exactly a week ago my dad got into a stupid argument that I honestly don't even know what it was about. But he upset me so badly that I just left. I went to a friends house and just sat and talked for a few hours before going back home. The same thing happened yesterday only it was a lot worse. Things get out of hand so fast that I don't think either of us ever see it coming. And it sucks. I love my dad, but I wish we had a more stable and normal relationship where screaming at each other wasn't considered normal or a weekly occurance.
I was adopted before I was born, so I've lived with my (adoptive) family for my entire life. And somehow I've inherited most of my behavioral traits from my dad and very few from my mom. Because of the insane similarities in our personalities we tend to butt heads a lot. We're both sarcastic, terribly headstrong, and have horrible tempers. My temper very few people have seen. My dad is one of the very very few people on this earth that can get under my skin enough to truly make me angry. And I hate that. This evil person that I don't even know, or know how to control, just comes from no where. Exactly a week ago my dad got into a stupid argument that I honestly don't even know what it was about. But he upset me so badly that I just left. I went to a friends house and just sat and talked for a few hours before going back home. The same thing happened yesterday only it was a lot worse. Things get out of hand so fast that I don't think either of us ever see it coming. And it sucks. I love my dad, but I wish we had a more stable and normal relationship where screaming at each other wasn't considered normal or a weekly occurance.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Loss
I hate that my first blog post is going to be a rather depressing one, but this week has been pretty rough. Two things have been lost this week, one which was mine to lose and the other was someone else's but still affected me a lot, nonetheless.
I'll start with the one of my own, even though it happened more recently. Well... it was finalized more recently but its been a long time coming. There's this guy that I used to date. We broke up December of 2007, so we've had quite some time to get over each other. We were still pretty good friends until the beginning of this year. He got a new girlfriend who is absolutely stunning and from what I've heard from other people a really sweet girl. I've never had anything against her seeing as, obviously I want my friends to be happy and have good relationships. But for some reason my guy friend has been saying that gets really upset/mad when we talk even if its just for the class that we're in together. This has been going on since they started dating a couple months ago. He's even broken plans with me to work on a school project because she didn't like that we were going to be together. She and I have even tried to work it out, and I've let her know before that there was nothing to worry about & that I'd never do anything to put their relationship in danger. So for the past few weeks, my friend has been slowly distancing himself from me more and more, to the point where he literally ignores me when I try to talk to him in class. I've tried to talk to him, and he said that he wasn't going to stop being friends with me because of her, but things haven't gone back to the way they were before. Just the other day I invited him to come to a cook out at my house for my 18th birthday next week. Its a really big deal to me to have my friends there to celebrate my last high school birthday. And he told me not only could he not come because his girlfriend wouldn't like it, but also that he couldn't "associate with me anymore because it was bad for his relationship."
I hate that feeling of knowing you've lost a friend over something stupid. I'm not saying that his girlfriend is the stupid part of this loss, but I will say that I don't think its ever okay to compromise a good friendship for a high school relationship. I'm also not saying that all high school relationships fail, but the vast majority of them end up not working for the long run. I don't know, maybe thats just me not wanting to accept changes that inevitably will happen sooner or later. But I really don't like losing people when it can be helped. ):
Okay, the next loss of this week. The one that wasn't my own relative/relationship. One of my friends who I absolutely care the world about lost his mother on Tuesday to cancer. I'd honestly only met her once and spoke to her briefly on the phone a small handful of times, but it hurt so bad. More than I ever could have imagined. But just knowing that someone I care about so much is hurting tore me to pieces. After I found out from another close friend about her passing on Tuesday, I spent the next four hours crying. And after that, I slept for literally 12 hours until I had to get up the next morning for a doctor's appointment. Going to the doctor didn't help the depression that I was in at all, considering I had to get shots and I'm terribly afraid of needles. And as a side note, I don't generally refer to my sad days as me being depressed. In fact, I never have. No, I wasn't suicidal. But I've honestly been distraught all week. I'm usually a pretty chill and happy person. But this knocked my feet out from under me. Thursday, I got out of school early to go to her funeral. One of my amazing friends went with me, both to be there for me and for our mutual friend (& his sister & the rest of his family) and we met another one of our friends once we got there. It was unbelievable how many people were there to celebrate his mother's life. My friend and I got there half an hour before the service was to begin and the parking lot was already packed. Fifteen minutes before the service began, people had to start being seated in the balcony because of how full the church was with friends and family and coworkers, and even a few people who had never met her but knew her through other people.
The funeral service was beautiful, and it opened my eyes to what an amazing person she was and how lucky I was to have even known her the little bit that I did. It lifted my spirits a lot to learn that she was a meticulous planner and organizer and that she had time to plan for her children's future without her. Of course, I spent the entire hour crying, especially at the beginning and end when the family was led in and out of the church. Just being able to see my friend and his sister brought tears to my eyes. But once I got home, I felt like a weight was lifted. I'm still sad, but I know that with time, my friend will be okay. And until then, he has all of us to help him through.
I'll start with the one of my own, even though it happened more recently. Well... it was finalized more recently but its been a long time coming. There's this guy that I used to date. We broke up December of 2007, so we've had quite some time to get over each other. We were still pretty good friends until the beginning of this year. He got a new girlfriend who is absolutely stunning and from what I've heard from other people a really sweet girl. I've never had anything against her seeing as, obviously I want my friends to be happy and have good relationships. But for some reason my guy friend has been saying that gets really upset/mad when we talk even if its just for the class that we're in together. This has been going on since they started dating a couple months ago. He's even broken plans with me to work on a school project because she didn't like that we were going to be together. She and I have even tried to work it out, and I've let her know before that there was nothing to worry about & that I'd never do anything to put their relationship in danger. So for the past few weeks, my friend has been slowly distancing himself from me more and more, to the point where he literally ignores me when I try to talk to him in class. I've tried to talk to him, and he said that he wasn't going to stop being friends with me because of her, but things haven't gone back to the way they were before. Just the other day I invited him to come to a cook out at my house for my 18th birthday next week. Its a really big deal to me to have my friends there to celebrate my last high school birthday. And he told me not only could he not come because his girlfriend wouldn't like it, but also that he couldn't "associate with me anymore because it was bad for his relationship."
I hate that feeling of knowing you've lost a friend over something stupid. I'm not saying that his girlfriend is the stupid part of this loss, but I will say that I don't think its ever okay to compromise a good friendship for a high school relationship. I'm also not saying that all high school relationships fail, but the vast majority of them end up not working for the long run. I don't know, maybe thats just me not wanting to accept changes that inevitably will happen sooner or later. But I really don't like losing people when it can be helped. ):
Okay, the next loss of this week. The one that wasn't my own relative/relationship. One of my friends who I absolutely care the world about lost his mother on Tuesday to cancer. I'd honestly only met her once and spoke to her briefly on the phone a small handful of times, but it hurt so bad. More than I ever could have imagined. But just knowing that someone I care about so much is hurting tore me to pieces. After I found out from another close friend about her passing on Tuesday, I spent the next four hours crying. And after that, I slept for literally 12 hours until I had to get up the next morning for a doctor's appointment. Going to the doctor didn't help the depression that I was in at all, considering I had to get shots and I'm terribly afraid of needles. And as a side note, I don't generally refer to my sad days as me being depressed. In fact, I never have. No, I wasn't suicidal. But I've honestly been distraught all week. I'm usually a pretty chill and happy person. But this knocked my feet out from under me. Thursday, I got out of school early to go to her funeral. One of my amazing friends went with me, both to be there for me and for our mutual friend (& his sister & the rest of his family) and we met another one of our friends once we got there. It was unbelievable how many people were there to celebrate his mother's life. My friend and I got there half an hour before the service was to begin and the parking lot was already packed. Fifteen minutes before the service began, people had to start being seated in the balcony because of how full the church was with friends and family and coworkers, and even a few people who had never met her but knew her through other people.
The funeral service was beautiful, and it opened my eyes to what an amazing person she was and how lucky I was to have even known her the little bit that I did. It lifted my spirits a lot to learn that she was a meticulous planner and organizer and that she had time to plan for her children's future without her. Of course, I spent the entire hour crying, especially at the beginning and end when the family was led in and out of the church. Just being able to see my friend and his sister brought tears to my eyes. But once I got home, I felt like a weight was lifted. I'm still sad, but I know that with time, my friend will be okay. And until then, he has all of us to help him through.
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