My worst trait is the one thing that is constantly making me ruin EVERYTHING for myself. It doesn't matter if its a friendship, romantic relationship, or anything else under the sun. I worry about things to the point where I absolutely turn every situation that I want to go right in the complete opposite direction. If I like someone, I worry about things like if they like me or if I'm getting on their nerves or if I'm doing every little thing right until they really are annoyed with me or until they can't stand to be around me anymore. Right now a similar, though more complicated, thing is going on with me. And I absolutely want to kick myself for once again ruining something that could have turned into a relationship, whether romantic or just friends. And this is a person that I really enjoy being around. Even if it weren't going in the direction I wanted it to go in, I still would love to be around this person and be friends with them. But now I have a huge feeling that because I once again over reacted and froke out about every little thing, that friendship is going to be completely gone.
I've always been a believer that if you let go, what is supposed to happen will happen. I'm always giving people that bit of advice, but when it comes to me following my own advice, I fail miserably. In the past few days, one phrase has been coming up from all around me by people that I know. It's pretty much the same idea. "Let go & let God." I'm finding it so hard to let myself let go. I know that as soon as I do, things will probably work themselves out. But I can't let myself be out of control. And I hate that. I wish I were one of those people who could just let things happen and roll with it. But as soon as something does start happening I have to make sure that things continue in the direction I want them to. Which is where everything starts falling apart.
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Aww hun. We are so much alike sometimes. I can definitely see where you're coming from. Unfortunately, things aren't always going to go the way that we want them to (Whether we try to make it so or no). Try and just quit worrying so much and let things fall into place. If something is meant to be, it will happen. There is no sense in stressing or worrying over it. I've learned that when you try to control a situation, friendship, relationship, ect, it tends to get out of control and things can get messed up. Learn to just go with the flow.
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